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So you have found your ideal match in online dating and you’ve been through all the dating processes to make your relationship work. And now you feel that that person is really THE ONE for you, so you want to take plunge and pursue them for real.

However, do you find yourself separated by distance? Don’t fret too much about it though since there are a lot of things you both can do to keep the flame burning. Technology coupled with a little imagination can do great things for your love life!

1. Go star-gazing together.

Take your laptop with you as you go out, maybe in your garden or on your porch. Turn on the camera, aim it at the starry sky. Why is this significant or romantic? Well, unless you have a 24h hour difference, it’s quite comforting to think that indeed you are under the same sky – the same night sky – no matter how many miles apart you are from each other. Remember the lyrics from an old cartoon classic? “Even though I know how very far apart we are, it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star; When the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby, it helps to think we’re sleeping underneath the same great sky.” Isn’t that just re-assuring?

2. The small things do matter and do so share them.

What makes your relationship work and last is by sharing and opening things up to your significant other. You might be tempted to just share all the BIG things that happened in your day, the main events but resist the urge to do so. The things that help your partner figure things about you are not the big things you tell them, but the small things that you share. There’s probably no one else in the world other than your special someone, who can decipher your cryptic e-mails about your co-employees or boss, and no one else would probably be as happy to hear about your day other than your partner. When distance separates you from your beloved, these small things can set the mood lighter and help strengthen your relationship. So share the details about your co-workers new baby, or your preppy neighbour’s dog. It’s these small things that remind both of you that your relationship is real and special and it can also keep you both grounded. Of course, nothing beats having your loved one by your side. And never delude yourself. However, even when you are apart, it’s good that you make the most of what you have and whenever you can. And doing these things would mean that you are making a conscious effort to keep the relationship alive and stronger.

You can still nurture the love despite the distance, and never believe otherwise! Nothing could beat the power of love, and nothing can separate you from him if you truly desire to be together with them. Discover more tips on love and relationships here => http://www.Millionaire-Matchmaker.co.uk

Grrrr!

Whether you are new to online dating, or an ‘old hand’, even in a fresh and deepening relationship, then this article could be useful to you. What happens when you and your date both have Facebook pages, and your relationship is in that exciting phase when you just cannot stop phoning, texting and emailing each other? Or, maybe you are settled in to a stable relationship, maybe you’ve even started living together, and you both have Facebook pages of your own.  Have you thought about the potential problems this could cause? Do you need two Facebook profiles – one for your regular friends and one for online dating?

Profile Privacy

Having a profile on Facebook can lead to a multitude of problems, not least being identity theft, which is the reason why I kept away from the application for a few years. Yes, there are privacy settings, but they don’t always function as they should, and recently the management at the company changed the default settings on a whim. This led to a big outcry in the media. And Yes again, they did change them. But it just makes you nervous about having your whole life in a worldwide database, doesn’t it? These days there is even software which can analyse your profile and your Facebook friends and figure out a whole lot about what makes you tick, even your sexual preferences.

Until recently, I had no page on Facebook. My girlfriend has had one for years, and she is a nut about her online identity privacy. She uses it mainly to keep in touch with her family.

So, I thought it would be a good idea for me too, as I’m not really good at keeping in touch with family, and I know my daughters are really active. Fine. So…

What bearing has this on online dating?

Well, I started to set up an online profile in Facebook, and after a few pages it asked me to find some friends online. You’ve probably done it already. Guess who I looked for? Yes, my girlfriend. Could I find her? No. Did I find her? Yes. I simply looked for one of her daughters and found her as a friend of her daughter. I then sent a request to my girlfriend to be my Facebook friend.

After a couple of days I had received no reply. This started me thinking. Is she ignoring me? Did she get my request? Several other family members (including my daughters, I’m glad to say) had accepted and become friends. Or was there another reason, something more insidious? So, I asked her if she was not responding. She said that she hadn’t received my request. Fair enough, I believed that she hadn’t received my request. She was surprised that I had been able to find her at all given her Facebook profile settings (that’s off the point of this article, though I did touch on it earlier).

This whole episode got me thinking. Maybe she had a whole list of people – exes maybe, who she did not want me to see as her friends. Anyway, it was not an issue for me, but I also disappointed myself, that I should doubt her.

In summary

This whole online profile issue can raise doubts and questions when it comes to online dating, especially when you are just meeting with someone you like. You exchange real email addresses first, then phone numbers, then maybe, just maybe, your Facebook pages.

Solutions

There are couple of solutions. One is to have a bland profile with few friends, plus your real everyday profile. The other solution is to keep your profile clear of your dates and exes. Of course, if you are dating multiple people at the same time, or even using Facebook dating features, then you will have to be a lot more careful if you want to avoid lots of questions or doubts about trust.

(c) Phil Marks 2011

I’m writing this after a recent (now resolved) argument with my lady. It’s about personal space and how difficult that can be to deal with in a new relationship. For those who are dating and looking to settle down with a partner, there are a few things to consider. Some of them may of course depend on the particular personalities and the degree of independence we each prefer. For strong-willed and independent people, this can be a very difficult area.

For success of course, then both lovers have to be committed to making things work, though undoubtedly this can be very difficult. In fact, I said to her that it could be even more difficult to work out than the recent airlines strike! Focus on common ground, that’s what the negotiators say.

These issues can be more acute if you are not in the first flush of youth and have established your home and way of life, with a fair amount of material  possessions around you.

How do Space Issues Arise?

Well, the issue first comes about when you agree where to live – her place or your place, or do you get a place together? When relationships start, you begin to stop over at each other’s place, there is no explicit agreement, it’s just ‘let’s see how it goes’. Slowly, the centre of gravity moves one way or the other, and your (or your lover’s) pile of clothes, washbag and so on starts to accumulate at the emerging centre of gravity.

Then, maybe, you decide to give up your place (or your lover gives up theirs) – selling it or renting it out.

Developing Space Issues

As all this happens, though, you start to work it out – you (or your other) clear out some drawers and cupboard space. Maybe you are tidy and your other is untidy – that’s stress in itself.

The issues of space can be sharper if you work from home (as I now do) and the other person is there a lot of the time. Guys are in general more single minded – I like to concentrate on my work without interruption, and finding space (without interruption) in someone else’s place for this single-minded work can be difficult. But it’s not only physical space, it’s mental space as well – space to think, even space to watch different TV shows or entertain friends.

House Rules

When you live in someone else’s space, then the house rules are theirs and it can be very frustrating that you have no call over the space or the rules, even if you contribute to the running costs and upkeep. In my own place in another life I eventually learned to be very flexible, but if you are with someone who is very particular and set in their ways then that can be challenging.

And, as we get older and even more set in our ways, then the challenges can be greater.

Symptoms

Having lived with people who have found it difficult to have new partners in their space and therefore experienced it first-hand, I have become very aware of this issue, and the symptoms. Indeed, I have been told by a partner that it was very difficult for her having someone in her space. I guess that could be down to me, but I did coexist fairly happily for 15 years in another relationship!

If you are both living in your place, then when the other person tries to express a strong opinion about, say, what colour a wall should be painted, and you think ‘hey, that’s my wall, we’ll have what I like’ then that’s a sign, just thinking it. It works both ways, and if you are in your partner’s place and think ‘no, I don’t really want to live in a room with a purple wall’ then that’s a pointer to a problem.

These sorts of issues can get magnified out of proportion when both of you are strong willed; if only one is strong willed then the other person could start to feel ridden over. This could lead to resentment.

Finding Solutions

The most obvious solution is to rent or buy a place together, though even that may not work for some couples.

If you are very committed, you can see this as an opportunity to dump a load of junk and baggage and focus on the bare minimum. You can then together build up your joint possessions together.

Of course, this is risky in itself as you think – ‘if this goes wrong, who gets what?’ and ‘maybe I’d be safer hanging on to my place and stuff, you know, just in case….’. And what if there’s say, a dog?

Another solution is to have periods apart – maybe short breaks visiting friends and family – some couples even have holidays apart, but for me that wouldn’t work. I mean, why be together at all?

Then, getting away together into neutral space – say a weekend away – can also lower the temperature.

So, all in all Space can be an issue. The Final Frontier? Maybe. When you cross a frontier, then you are into new territory!