How will you know your soulmate? Let us look at some basic ideas of what a soulmate is. If you have been lucky enough to have had time with a soulmate then you probably have your own list already. Maybe you haven’t written it down, but perhaps you recognise some of the factors.

What is the point of this you may ask? Well, in today’s world of online dating and multiple serial relationships, how do you know when the ‘right person’ has come along? Women have a better developed sense of intuition than men, but still make mistakes, so intuition is not the be-all and end-all of making good relationship decisions. Yes, there are certain things that each of us looks for in a relationship, and often we make a compromise.

My list of characteristics is based on what I think is important. Your list may differ – you might not even be seeking a soulmate; some guys only seek someone to kepp them warm, cook and wash their socks; some ladies are only looking for a cheque book. Anyway, my list, based on several good relationships and one definite soulmate (15 good years) is:

- instinctively thinking about one another at the same moment – phoning up only for the other person to say – oh, I was just thinking of you or just about to phone you;

- having tremendous respect for that person’s point of view;

- not referring to them as ‘my husband, boyfriend, girlfriend’ and so on, but as ‘John, Peter, Sandra’ and so on. In my mind, this avoids an implication of possession;

- wanting to be with that person as much as possible

- sharing dreams and hopes for the future, and having a plan or way forward which is jointly shared;

- providing unconditional emotional support. This can undoubtedly be difficult if one believes that the partner’s actions are wrong, but if respect for them is strong then that makes the support easier;

- having the same ideas at the same time. Ok, this is aspirational for some people perhaps, but not unusal. Of course, this can be seen as limiting the development of a relationship, because the challenge of differing perspectives is absent. However, on the other hand it does mean that compromise is required less often, and that can be a boon when one person is less inclined to compromise. Constant compromise by one side only can be corrosive in the long term;

- a core set of shared interests, with each having other interests which bring new aspects and experiences into a relationship. These ’satellite’ interests maintain a continual flow of new events into the partnership.

Some people might say that such relationship with these factors is boring, claustrophobic or clingy – and there are plenty of other descriptions.

For me though, if that is the case, then you are not soulmates. I’ve had relationships with clingy people, and I know I’ve been perceived as clingy in others – the key point though, is that there is a mismatch.

It doesn’t stop you having disagreements, but if you have deep respect then you really listen to what the other point of view is.

Those are the key aspects of what, for me, a soulmate relationship should have.

For the all the lowdown on Online Dating, get the Online Dating Guide.

The Online Dating Guide is unique, containing much distilled experience from years of online dating by Phil and his friends.

(c) 2010 Phil Marks

In a world filled with busy, career-oriented people, many professionals are deciding to join online dating services in the hopes of meeting their future romantic partner. A reputable online dating site provides each member with a detailed dating profile to fill in and usually offers a compatibility questionnaire before a member joins the site. Well-organized dating services employ sophisticated match-matching processes that enable each user to receive quality, well-suited matches. As online dating sites grow in popularity, with a variety of sites having millions of members, more and more men and women these days are discovering the love of their lives online.

Follow these guidelines to help you find your Mr. or Miss Right online:

(1) First of all, before you can be happy and fulfilled in a romantic relationship, you need to be happy and complete in yourself. Don’t buy into the famous line from the movie Jerry Maguire, “You complete me.” Each person has to be whole and holistically healthy within themselves before they are ready to find their life partner.

(2) In order to prepare yourself for meeting your perfect match, devote time to taking care of yourself, physically, emotionally and mentally. Invest time in your favorite hobby or special interest. Make sure that you are maintaining and healthy diet and exercising regularly. Think positively about yourself and work on developing a healthy self-esteem.

(3) Create an imaginative, genuine and well-written dating profile. Include special stories that illustrate your authentic personality. Share details about your favorite interests and hobbies, memorable anecdotes about your education and career, and charming stories about your family, pets and friends. Paint an appealing and lovable picture of yourself through your profile essay.

(4) Once you have joined an online dating service, take the time to complete all aspects of your dating profile. Your matches will be able to tell if you are serious about finding a partner by the amount of care and detail you put into your profile. Make sure that your writing is free from spelling, grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure mistakes. Take time when selecting your photos to upload to your profile. Make sure they are respectable, attractive and welcoming photos of yourself.

(5) Remember that finding your Mr. or Miss Right is a journey and give yourself plenty of time to be matched with the best possible partner. Devote some time every day or every other day to reviewing your new matches, responding to messages or emails from matches that you are interested in, and pursuing contact with any match that catches your attention. Part of the process with online dating is trial-and-error. When you are matched with people who don’t meet your expectations, because their profile turns you off, your values aren’t compatible or you don’t feeling physically attracted to them, then kindly but firmly close the match and send them a polite but assertive email such as “Thank you for your message. I don’t feel that we are a match. Good luck in your search.” Think positively. Every day you are getting closer to meeting your future soul mate.

You are at a place in your life in which you are ready to settle down. You have a good college or university education, and you are established or getting established in your chosen career. Something, more precisely, someone, is missing though. You long to be in a long-term committed relationship with a loving, intelligent, caring woman or man who would one day become your future spouse. You have had several long-term relationships, but unfortunately they didn’t work out. You are busy with your career and you don’t have any friends or co-workers that would be good possible girlfriends or boyfriends. Several of your friends from university suggest to you that you join an online dating service. They were able to meet their wives through online dating services, which is a good testimonial in itself.

Your friends try to encourage you to register with an online dating service. They offer you several compelling reasons why you should give online dating serious consideration.

1) As a member of an online dating service, you are enabling yourself to be matched with and interact with possibly hundreds if not thousands of fellow members. Many popular dating services have millions of members. You are increasing your potential “dating pool” of possible matches exponentially.

2) As a member, you are expanding your geographical search for your future mate beyond just your own city or town to include your state or province, your entire country, or even several other countries if you choose to look for love in a broader geographical setting. Many online dating services allow you to list the states or provinces or countries that you would like your matches to live in, and some services allow you to type in a specific distance, such as a 500 mile radius or a 1000 mile radius.

3) A high percentage of men and women discover their wives or husbands through online dating services. Many people met their current girlfriend or boyfriend online.

4) If you take a relaxed and positive attitude, joining an online dating service can be a fun and rewarding experience. It is an easy and exciting way to receive matches from various states, provinces or even countries, all from the comfort of your home computer. Members find it to be a memorable time in their lives, as they look forward every day to discovering their new matches and reading new messages from matches.

5) Online dating services offer helpful and easy-to-use features. Members are able to easily access a tremendous variety of personal profiles which contain information about each match’s personal interests, career, relationship goals, religion, age and place of residence. Members can view one another’s photos, which is a popular feature.