These essential tips are all about getting the key aspects of your profile right. The benefit of this is that you are clear about who you are and the type of guy you are looking for, which means that you immediately eliminate all the people who would be of no interest to you. This saves time and money on email, phone calls and pointless dates, not to mention the emotional toll it can take. It is an investment in your future, and well worth the time and effort.

So, you have bitten the bullet and joined an online dating agency, maybe two and entered maybe a basic profile. Hopefully you have chosen a clever user id. ‘Sal1234’ is hardly memorable, but something like ‘MustangSally1’ or ‘FranTheArtLover’ certainly is. If you haven’t then it is easy to get another free membership offer.

Here are some top dating tips for writing your profile – these will make the whole process much more enjoyable (and less costly) for you. Concentrate on getting the ‘narrative’ or ‘About Me’ section right. This is the free format area where you write your personal essay. Effort here will pay dividends, cutting out the guys you will not want to meet and attracting the guys who will are looking for someone just like you.

Tips 1-4 will help you write this. But don’t write it and then publish it straight away. Write a draft or two and allow 24 hours between each version. The final version will be much, much better, guaranteed! Do check spelling and punctuation – most word processing software will do this for you; then cut and paste the final version into the box on the profile.

Top Dating Tip #1 – Make sure you have a ‘catchy’ tagline (the profile header which shows in search results). For example ‘Smart lady seeking fun and travel with a steady guy’. This says something about what you and what you are looking for, but also sets out the type of person you want to meet, right at the outset, encouraging guys to click and read your profile. You might not like the idea, but you are advertising yourself, and you do want to attract the right people for you.

Top Dating Tip #2 – Think hard about the type of person you are looking for and find eight or ten key words or phrases (positive and negative) which describe that person, eg steady, loyal, loving, money not important though it helps, must have his own hair, like dancing and pets, no gamblers or heavy drinkers. Use past relationships as a guide – what was good and what was bad.

If you have been in a difficult relationship in the past, remember that there is a tendency for women to be attracted to features they recognise, so be aware of this and make sure you eliminate such people at this early stage.

Top Dating Tip #3 – What’s important to you. List the things that are important about yourself and that you want him to appreciate. If you are athletic, then you probably need someone with an interest in sport (playing, not sitting in a bar with a beer). Are you an art lover? If you are, then a guy who thinks Dali is a country in Africa is probably a bad bet. Get beyond the superficial to find guys with similar values to your own.

Top Dating Tip # 4 – What’s vital in your life.

What about children – do you want them, maybe you already are a parent? Whilst there are boxes in the profile for this, you may want to say more. He will have to enjoy taking a parental role (and you may have his children for sleepovers). For example “my children are central to my life and a guy who is closely involved with children of his own and understands and enjoys the challenges of parenthood would be ideal’.

Maybe you are involved in local politics or an action group – these tend to be driven from deep within – then it will be important that you highlight that aspect of yourself.

Top Dating Tip #5 – Use a good photograph, preferably one in which you smile – a dour picture will just scare people off – “she doesn’t look very happy”! Invest in your online profile by using a professional photographer for your first online picture. This is so important. The picture is the first thing men see and men are very visually driven. The difference in response level will be as much as 20 times.

So, if you concentrate on these online dating tips and get your profile right, then you can look forward to meeting the right guys.

(c) 2010 Phil Marks

There is no question that with the availability of online dating, the amount of dating has increased way beyond what was usual in earlier days. Distances are shortened and the sheer range of potential partners is there before your eyes. So, people meet more potential partners before settling.

Now, as in most things, there are people around who are less than honest and can be seen to be dating cheats. By ‘cheats’ I mean people who describe a false history about themselves, claim to be single when they are not, and so on. They have rehearsed their stories well and, like many cheats, can be very credible.

I have some great friends who I have met through online dating and their experiences, together with my own, have enabled me to put together these tips. Patterns emerge, and cheating individuals may become known in the dating community. The very best cheats though are very credible and can bluff the best of us. I have friends who have been ‘conned’ for many months by serial cheats.

OK, so what about the tips for spotting these characters? None of these hold true in all cases, and of course you cannot easily tell if a genuinely single person is not interested in a long term relationship unless they say so (and assuming that is what you also want).

Tip #1 – Telephone Talk – Phone Numbers

You have gone past the initial exchange of emails and arrange to start talking on the phone. From a male perspective, a genuine guy would usually offer his phone number, recognising that a lady may not want to disclose hers at an early stage on security grounds. If the arrangement is always that the other person calls you, then that is a potential signal.

If the other person says that they can only be called on their mobile phone or that they don’t have a landline phone number then that could be another signal. In today’s age, there are people who genuinely do not have landline phone numbers, relying on mobile phones and Skype. So, you should be able to Skype them at home in the evening (though of course you cannot be absolutely sure that they are at home).

Tip #2 – Telephone Talk – Timing

Most working people cannot take personal calls at work, and that is fine. However, if you find that the other person is saying things like:

Only call me on Tuesdays and Thursdays… or
I can’t do evenings because mobile reception is bad at home (and don’t have a landline)…
I’ll call you on Wednesday at 7pm…

..then these are also signals of potential dishonesty.

Tip #3 – Where do we Meet?

Most often, the first one or two dates are on neutral territory. After that, people will start travelling to each other’s areas or towns. If though, there is reluctance on the part of the other person to meet you on their territory, then this could be a signal that not all is as stated in their online dating profile.

Have they given you their home address? You can test this by saying ‘I’d like to see where you live’.

These are 3 great tips – don’t ignore them if you want to avoid disappointment! There are another 2 great tips in the Online Dating Guide.

In Conclusion

None of these tips are, on their own, absolute identifiers of less than honest people, and the best liars will always keep as close to the truth as possible. Watch for patterns though.

Of course, at the end of it all, there are people who are intensely protective of their privacy (and may themselves be very cautious). However, if you are detecting a few of the signals I have listed, then you would be right to be suspicious.

There is the always chance that the other genuine person, protecting their privacy, would consider some of your ‘test questions’ to be intrusive or prying. However, you can always plead ‘I’ve been hurt before and do not want to be hurt again’. Most people would understand this.

In spite of all this, most people are genuine, so enjoy your dating!

The Online Dating Guide is unique, containing much distilled experience from years of online dating by Phil and his friends.

© 2010 Phil Marks

You are a strong, independent woman. You are proud of your educational and professional accomplishments. You are at a place in your life where you are ready to get serious about finding a wonderful, intelligent, caring boyfriend who will hopefully become your devoted husband one day. After several unsuccessful long-term relationships, you have taken time to recuperate, take care of yourself and reevaluate your priorities. Now, after time away from the dating scene, you feel that you are ready to take several cautious steps into the online dating pool.

You have decided on joining an online dating service because you want to broaden your search for the man of your dreams. You appreciate how the service allows you to choose the age range, religion, geographical location and ethnic background of your potential matches. You are ready to put together a compelling dating profile and start looking for love, but you want to keep your personal safety and privacy your first priority.

Follow these safety and privacy tips to ensure a safe and enjoyable online dating experience.

1) When you write your profile, avoid sharing any information that could reveal your identity. Do not share your last name, your phone number, your email address or your home address. Do not share your place of employment, the name of your church, or the name of your health club. Many dating services have members create a “username,” which they use instead of your first name, so then you don’t even have to reveal your first name until you get to know someone well.

2) When you select photos to add to your profile, be extra careful to avoid revealing any personal information. People can gather a lot of information about someone by looking at their photos. Avoid posting photos of you standing in front of your house, you standing next to your car, or you with the sign of any event or club.

3) While communicating with your matches, exercise extra caution. Utilize the dating service to send emails and messages. Do not use your work email address or personal email address. When you get to the stage where you feel comfortable talking to a man on the phone, ensure that you are the one making the phone calls and arrange with your phone company to block your phone number. Do not reveal your phone number until after you meet the potential suitor and feel comfortable with him. If the match lives a long distance away from you and you won’t be able to meet for several weeks or months, only share your phone number with him after you have been emailing and messaging one another for at least several weeks and you have had several quality phone conversations with him. Remember that there are a variety of websites that can reveal your full name and home address when a person types in your home phone number.

4) Research each potential suitor carefully, especially before meeting him in person. Find out as much information about each man as you possibly can. Once you know his last name, you can use various government website to look into his background. Several websites allow you to perform a criminal record search on someone. Do a “Google search” with your match’s full name and see if your search generates any information. Ask your match important questions about his background, values and expectations before meeting him.