This fourth article is about getting the key aspects of your online dating profile right, especially describing what’s vital in your life. Then, any guy who reads your profile will understand those areas in which you will not compromise, because vital means just that.

Children

What about children – do you want them, maybe you are already a parent? There are probably drop-down boxes in the site’s profile set-up screen for this, but you may want to say more. For example the man will have to enjoy taking a parental role (and you may have his children round for sleepovers). You could phrase it like this: “until they leave home my children will be central in my life and ideally I want to meet a guy who is closely involved with children of his own, understands and enjoys the challenges of parenthood’.

Your Friends and Social Activities

Are you a homelover, or are you out meeting people and socialising most nights? Are your girlfriends round every night? Again, finding someone compatible with that lifestyle is important; after all, how would you feel if your man was out at a bar or football game on several nights a week? Maybe it would suit you, maybe not – some couples have entirely separate social lives – but would it suit you (or him)?

Politics

Perhaps you are involved in town politics or an action group – these tend to be driven from deep within the person – then it will be important that you highlight that aspect of yourself. If you are at meetings a couple of nights a week then you need to make that clear in your profile.

Whilst we are on the topic of politics, remember that many couples of different politics can co-exist quite happily, and there are some people who have to be with a partner having a similar political outlook and set of values. If you are one of those people to whom politics is an essential part of life, then you need to say so clearly.

Pets

Some people just do not want to live in a house with pets (especially cats or dogs) and there can be good reasons for this – for example, allergies. So, if keeping your pet is not negotiable then you need to say so in your profile.

Career and Relocation

You may have a very demanding job or career, but how will it be if the new man in your life is in the Navy (say) and away for 8 months of the year? This is certainly an area to explore very early on. Certainly, if you are in such a career yourself then you do need to make that clear in your online profile

If someone works elsewhere in the country, would you be prepared to move – maybe the kids are in school and you don’t want to move? Most dating agencies ask about geographical range so that they can match people appropriately, but there are few people who really want to enter into a relationship with somebody who lives on another continent!

Finally

The principle behind disclosing the ‘vitals’ in your life is that you don’t want to meet and fall for someone and then find that there is a major problem caused by one of the above (or other ‘vitals’). This approach will help you filter out the unsuitable guys in advance.

(c) 2010 Phil Marks

These essential tips are all about getting the key aspects of your profile right. The benefit of this is that you are clear about who you are and the type of guy you are looking for, which means that you immediately eliminate all the people who would be of no interest to you. This saves time and money on email, phone calls and pointless dates, not to mention the emotional toll it can take. It is an investment in your future, and well worth the time and effort.

So, you have bitten the bullet and joined an online dating agency, maybe two and entered maybe a basic profile. Hopefully you have chosen a clever user id. ‘Sal1234’ is hardly memorable, but something like ‘MustangSally1’ or ‘FranTheArtLover’ certainly is. If you haven’t then it is easy to get another free membership offer.

Here are some top dating tips for writing your profile – these will make the whole process much more enjoyable (and less costly) for you. Concentrate on getting the ‘narrative’ or ‘About Me’ section right. This is the free format area where you write your personal essay. Effort here will pay dividends, cutting out the guys you will not want to meet and attracting the guys who will are looking for someone just like you.

Tips 1-4 will help you write this. But don’t write it and then publish it straight away. Write a draft or two and allow 24 hours between each version. The final version will be much, much better, guaranteed! Do check spelling and punctuation – most word processing software will do this for you; then cut and paste the final version into the box on the profile.

Top Dating Tip #1 – Make sure you have a ‘catchy’ tagline (the profile header which shows in search results). For example ‘Smart lady seeking fun and travel with a steady guy’. This says something about what you and what you are looking for, but also sets out the type of person you want to meet, right at the outset, encouraging guys to click and read your profile. You might not like the idea, but you are advertising yourself, and you do want to attract the right people for you.

Top Dating Tip #2 – Think hard about the type of person you are looking for and find eight or ten key words or phrases (positive and negative) which describe that person, eg steady, loyal, loving, money not important though it helps, must have his own hair, like dancing and pets, no gamblers or heavy drinkers. Use past relationships as a guide – what was good and what was bad.

If you have been in a difficult relationship in the past, remember that there is a tendency for women to be attracted to features they recognise, so be aware of this and make sure you eliminate such people at this early stage.

Top Dating Tip #3 – What’s important to you. List the things that are important about yourself and that you want him to appreciate. If you are athletic, then you probably need someone with an interest in sport (playing, not sitting in a bar with a beer). Are you an art lover? If you are, then a guy who thinks Dali is a country in Africa is probably a bad bet. Get beyond the superficial to find guys with similar values to your own.

Top Dating Tip # 4 – What’s vital in your life.

What about children – do you want them, maybe you already are a parent? Whilst there are boxes in the profile for this, you may want to say more. He will have to enjoy taking a parental role (and you may have his children for sleepovers). For example “my children are central to my life and a guy who is closely involved with children of his own and understands and enjoys the challenges of parenthood would be ideal’.

Maybe you are involved in local politics or an action group – these tend to be driven from deep within – then it will be important that you highlight that aspect of yourself.

Top Dating Tip #5 – Use a good photograph, preferably one in which you smile – a dour picture will just scare people off – “she doesn’t look very happy”! Invest in your online profile by using a professional photographer for your first online picture. This is so important. The picture is the first thing men see and men are very visually driven. The difference in response level will be as much as 20 times.

So, if you concentrate on these online dating tips and get your profile right, then you can look forward to meeting the right guys.

(c) 2010 Phil Marks