These online dating tips are about getting the main aspects of your online dating profile right. This is the first of a series of five articles, each concentrating on a specific aspect of a lady’s online dating profile.

Why bother, you say?

The benefit is that you clearly describe who you are and the type of guy you are looking for. Thereby you immediately cut out all the people who would be of no interest to you (and you to them, even before you start writing your profile summary paragraph). This reduces hassle and emotional toll. You are investing in your future, so it pays to devote time to the task.

The first tip is about your ‘handle’, more usually known as your User ID.

Maybe you have already joined an online agency. Did you choose a memorable and intriguing ‘handle’ for yourself?

Think about these handles:

Put yourself in a guy’s position – he does a search and sees a list of potential matches like this:

Ann123
Brenda29
Charlotte_Wisconsin
Mustang_Sally
ToniLonely
MarybyMoonlight
Maggie_May69
SaraSculptress
BlondeNoBimbo
Wendy993
June_so_lonely
Just_looking49
Laughing_Lady27
ScarlettOHara

Which handles catch his eye? Which ones will he click on first? Which ones grab you? Which ones give a positive feel and which ones seem negative?

Obviously, if your style is not that of a Mustang, or humour and double entendres such as with Maggie_May69 do not suit your personality then avoid such terms (or be prepared to deal with the inevitable silly enquiries you will get). However, you can always find something that very simply generates the extra clicks on your profile. More clicks mean more chances to find the right person.

It is quite reasonable to assume that SaraSculptress would really like to meet someone ‘arty’, ideally interested in sculpture.

‘Mustang_Sally’ tells me that she is someone who is a bit headstrong and challenging, but recognises it.

BlondeNoBimbo suggests an attractive lady who wants to be recognised for her intelligence and not her looks. Of course, if you are a ‘stunning looker’ with the intelligence of a professor, then you may want to communicate that another way, such as ‘BookishBlonde’ or just avoid any reference to your hair colour or looks. But then, it pays to advertise!

Now, let us think about negative aspects. How do you think June_so_Lonely comes across? There are two aspects to this.

Firstly, it carries a sense of vulnerability about it. This may not be a good thing to put across, as not all men are honorable. Secondly, it conveys someone who is seeing her glass to be half empty. Some men may like that, some may not, but generally a positive attitude works best.

And lastly, what does ScarlettOHara’s handle say – is she literary or a film buff or does it say something about her character. Some doubt can be intriguing…

So, in summary, think about your handle. And of course, many sites offer free trial memberships, so you could join a couple of agencies and try a couple of different handles.

Remember, your handle is your first headline!

(c) 2010 Phil Marks

You are a strong, independent woman. You are proud of your educational and professional accomplishments. You are at a place in your life where you are ready to get serious about finding a wonderful, intelligent, caring boyfriend who will hopefully become your devoted husband one day. After several unsuccessful long-term relationships, you have taken time to recuperate, take care of yourself and reevaluate your priorities. Now, after time away from the dating scene, you feel that you are ready to take several cautious steps into the online dating pool.

You have decided on joining an online dating service because you want to broaden your search for the man of your dreams. You appreciate how the service allows you to choose the age range, religion, geographical location and ethnic background of your potential matches. You are ready to put together a compelling dating profile and start looking for love, but you want to keep your personal safety and privacy your first priority.

Follow these safety and privacy tips to ensure a safe and enjoyable online dating experience.

1) When you write your profile, avoid sharing any information that could reveal your identity. Do not share your last name, your phone number, your email address or your home address. Do not share your place of employment, the name of your church, or the name of your health club. Many dating services have members create a “username,” which they use instead of your first name, so then you don’t even have to reveal your first name until you get to know someone well.

2) When you select photos to add to your profile, be extra careful to avoid revealing any personal information. People can gather a lot of information about someone by looking at their photos. Avoid posting photos of you standing in front of your house, you standing next to your car, or you with the sign of any event or club.

3) While communicating with your matches, exercise extra caution. Utilize the dating service to send emails and messages. Do not use your work email address or personal email address. When you get to the stage where you feel comfortable talking to a man on the phone, ensure that you are the one making the phone calls and arrange with your phone company to block your phone number. Do not reveal your phone number until after you meet the potential suitor and feel comfortable with him. If the match lives a long distance away from you and you won’t be able to meet for several weeks or months, only share your phone number with him after you have been emailing and messaging one another for at least several weeks and you have had several quality phone conversations with him. Remember that there are a variety of websites that can reveal your full name and home address when a person types in your home phone number.

4) Research each potential suitor carefully, especially before meeting him in person. Find out as much information about each man as you possibly can. Once you know his last name, you can use various government website to look into his background. Several websites allow you to perform a criminal record search on someone. Do a “Google search” with your match’s full name and see if your search generates any information. Ask your match important questions about his background, values and expectations before meeting him.